Will Rogers’ Daily Telegram – 3/4/1930

March 4, 2009

Well, Calvin did a mighty fine job of dam dedicating here this afternoon. He made a dam good speech favoring dams. Said he didn’t want to come at first, but that finally “President Hoover asked him to come.” He naturally couldn’t refuse Mr. Hoover for in a few years they might be opening a Hoover dam and he might want to ask Mr. Hoover to go and dedicate it. He dedicated the bridge to religion, a very beautiful thought and appropriate at this very time, for here is Russia with twice our national resources, three times our size, bending every government energy to throttle all religion. All you have to do is look at the two countries and see who’s policy is best.

A peculiar thing about the dam that you may not read in your dispatches  – the dam is built on the lower side of the Apache Indian reservation, and the water is all to be used by the Pima tribe and the whites. In fact, they moved the Apaches out of the very valley where the water is backed up in, and moved them ten miles up above. The only way the Apaches can ever get any good out of the dam is for somebody to invent a way for water to run uphill. And then they wonder why Apaches went wild.

One ceremony reminded me of a blindfolded tobacco ad test. Mr. Coolidge and an Apache chief and a Pima chief all took a whiff from the same pipe. The Indians didn’t bat an eye, but Calvin coughed over a carload’s worth.

The dam will open up 1,000,000 acres of new land, and there is 1,000,000 farmers starving to death all over the country on farms that’s all ready open, so it all depends on where you live, as to how you look at it.

Will Rogers’ Daily Telegrams Volume 2, Oklahoma State University Press

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Will Rogers’ Daily Telegram – 3/2/1930

March 2, 2009

Will Rogers Not Surprised At Senate Vote-Trading
Not only the week’s biggest laugh but the year’s biggest guffaw come from the United States Senate during the oil lobby hearing. They discovered that Senators were trading oil votes for sugar votes. They were surprised and practically dumbfounded that such a condition could exist. Yes, just about as surprising to everybody who knows politics as it would be to discover that Herbert Hoover was born in the United States, was over 30 years old, and white.

Vote trading got ’em all in the Senate and kept them in there (if the trades were good enough.)

A Senator learns to “swap” his vote at the same age a calf learns which end of his mother is the dining room.”

Will Rogers’ Daily Telegrams, Volume 2, Oklahoma State University Press